Ever since I can remember my mind often does this kinda quirky thing. When I’m in a situation that is daunting, or challenging I get flashes of songs or movies that bring humor, insight, alternative perspectives. More on that in a moment. This morning was one of those times. It was a challenge.
This. THIS, I told myself, was going to be the morning I get that walking in the morning routine established. So, leaving out at 7 a.m. with my two dogs I hit the trail. Initially, there is some trepidation about how my Sophie will do….my 7 year old mini-Aussie. We have had, shall I say, a “journey” together. A journey of trying to help her get over what seems to be PTSD for dogs when any dog comes within range of her eyesight. She goes into deep rabid sounding barking, screaming between barks, and lunging despite many […]
If your spouse were stuck in the relationship with you–would he/she be stuck ON you?
The infatuation stage is over. You feel as if you found your soulmate and made him/her yours. You married and enjoyed perhaps another year of bliss. Then it hit the fan. That person who so completely filled you up now seems to be so different, and so annoying. Or you’ve been married longer term and you can’t stand the person sitting across the breakfast table from you, and you can’t wait until the kids leave home so you can make your exit.
If you could save your marriage and be happy would you?
Putting aside here that there are some good reasons to leave a relationship and we’re assuming that those conditions are not present in your relationship. Conditions like ongoing physical or emotional abuse, serial affairs, addictions, or safety issues all of which have proven to you to […]
“Give of Yourself!”
“Don’t Be Selfish!”
“Look out for Others!”
“Don’t think of Yourself First!”
Sheesh! No wonder these kinds admonishments we heard as children can serve to keep us feeling guilty if we focus on taking care of ourselves well.
Cinderella gave everything of her time, energy, and attention to her step-mother and step-sisters, in addition to wearing rags, and sleeping by the fireplace! Was there more for her to give? I suppose she could have bled on the hearth, too.
Ultimately, one way to look at it is that for Cinderella’s selflessness she was rewarded by getting the cool shoes, the handsome prince, and the grand slam major cool ride. (I guess you could say Cinderella really started early transformer technology with the pumpkin to carriage capabilities!) But one unspoken message here could be: “Look what happens if you’re a doormat!”
Old McDonald was a workaholic and had lots of stock he could sing about […]
Today we’re talking about how to keep the attraction mojo going on in your relationship.
Have you ever been in a heated argument with your spouse and you just can’t understand why the argument leads to the same place, same frustrating feelings, the same thoughts that you’d “be better off not exposing yourself to this level of aggrevation, upset, or discord”, and “maybe it would be better to get out of the relationship because this is just too painful to keep repeating”? You probably really love this person, or have in the past, but you didn’t expect to have these kinds of arguments, experience this level of misunderstanding, and feel this alone in this relationship.
So you both turn away from each other.
You’re not alone. This is a common reaction.
What can you do to avoid the repetition of this cycle, and magnetize your spouse instead of repelling and being repelled?
Today I want to talk about how to open your heart in relationships with others whom you may not know, but could potentially have a great connection with that could bring you much joy and greater abundance in community relatedness.
As a psychotherapist, no doubt you know that I have “heard it all” in terms of what causes the unhappiness in peoples’ lives. Too often I hear stories from clients who have experienced negativity directed toward them from someone whom they haven’t known, have just met, and experience that first meeting as a surprise negative jolt. On a continuum, their experience is anything from the other person merely looking the other way when introduced, to outright hostility. It feels, no matter what the behavior of the newly acquainted person is at the first meeting, like being kicked in the stomach, or stabbed in the heart, or both.