If your spouse were stuck in the relationship with you–would he/she be stuck ON you?
The infatuation stage is over. You feel as if you found your soulmate and made him/her yours. You married and enjoyed perhaps another year of bliss. Then it hit the fan. That person who so completely filled you up now seems to be so different, and so annoying. Or you’ve been married longer term and you can’t stand the person sitting across the breakfast table from you, and you can’t wait until the kids leave home so you can make your exit.
If you could save your marriage and be happy would you?
Putting aside here that there are some good reasons to leave a relationship and we’re assuming that those conditions are not present in your relationship. Conditions like ongoing physical or emotional abuse, serial affairs, addictions, or safety issues all of which have proven to you to […]
“Why can’t he see that I need his help with the children when he comes home from work without my having to ask him for help? And why can’t he be more affectionate and let me know that I’m important?”
Invariably in my coaching and psychotherapy practice when I meet with a couple I hear this complaint on a first visit from the wife (unless the husband is the primary caregiver) if the couple have children.
Also invariably, the husband will respond to this complaint with:
“Why can’t she see that I need time to decompress from my work day when I come through the door for a short period of time instead of starting in on me to help her? And why can’t she first give me a kiss and tell me how much I’m appreciated?
What is usually underneath these complaints are three things:
1) Both husband and wife are overtired.
2) Neither person […]