At the beginning of 2015, I thought it ludicrous to come up with New Years Resolutions as I usually wind up beating up on myself for not following through after about the second week in January! However, I’d heard about adopting a “word of the year” as a substitute for resolutions. Words, I thought, are just words, and seemingly much less intimidating to follow than resolutions.
The truth? I found that in some ways following the word of the year was easier than resolutions, and in some ways harder.
Following the word of the year seemed to demand that I call forth something from within myself, and follow an overarching “word theme” that permeated my being. Thoughts, feelings, and actions were affected by the word. Whereas with resolutions there are actions on which one must carry forward–lose weight (“yeah, right”), exercise (“where’s the drill sergeant?”), and less computer time (“unplug from the world?!”). Somewhere in the carrying forward with resolutions seems to be a “tyranny of the shoulds” I’ll call it.
My word for 2015 was “TRUST”. That word came blaring forward for me as I realized just how difficult 2014 had been in experience. Probably the most stressful year for me up to this point in my whole adult life for various reasons. (I was, for the most part, the sole family member in charge of being present with, and making decisions for the care-taking of my dying elderly mom, and my husband who was admitted to the hospital–both in different hospitals at once to name just two sources of the stress).
At one point, being so bereft of inner resources on one day I surrendered the tendency to control in order to feel secure. The realization that everything is not in your control will come crashing down on you when a loved one is ill and/or dying and you can’t do anything about it.
I said at that moment when the attempt to control was at its’ apex and was only bringing more anxiety and sorrow–“Ok, Christ, I’m gonna completely turn over the need to control and utterly trust you 100% for the next 24 hours–because…what do I have to lose?”
In those 24 hours, I can’t say lightening bolts occurred, or that my world was turned upside down. But what I can say is that I felt a peace that was long unfamiliar, and a contentment that everything was in divine order–that I was being cared for, and Christ had my back.
Surprisingly, holding onto that trust in the form of constantly or as much as possible, imagining Christ was looking at my heart and sending me love and support, is what transpired for throughout the year. This did take on a life of its own.
In essence, I can say that doing so actually helped me do the other stuff that I would call New Years Resolutions. I became softer with myself, exercised more, ate better, didn’t look to the computer as much, spent more time outside with my garden, with my husband and dogs, and in more playful ways. I experienced fewer disappointments. My relationship benefitted, and so did my clients.
Holding onto that word “Trust” a whole year in the face of unremitting stressors helped me get what trust is all about in my bones. It helped me become a novice with trust and not a wanna-be with trust. It helped me have Christ on my radar daily. It helped a container grow bigger inside myself–a container of feeling secure, loved, and supported more deeply than I ever had previously.
So this year I’ll hold onto trust; I can’t move on because it’s now become a part of me. I’ll add another word; maybe “connection”, maybe “play”, maybe something else. I have until January 1st after all…..LOL!
As you scroll down you’ll see a YouTube video about Trust. I get the assertions put forth here in the narrator’s words, and the implications of the nuance of trust demonstrated by this talented couple. I hope you will take the time to watch. It’s definitely worth the 3:15 minutes of time.
Happy New Year! May you experience wild and sweet blessings of every imaginable and wonderful kind in 2016!
Please comment below and tell me what you plan to resolve to do in 2016 or the word you’re thinking of adopting.