Topic: Learning to Stay in Love

9 Steps to Extreme Self Care: A Valentines Gift To You

“Give of Yourself!”
“Don’t Be Selfish!”
“Look out for Others!”
“Don’t think of Yourself First!”

Sheesh! No wonder these kinds admonishments we heard as children can serve to keep us feeling guilty if we focus on taking care of ourselves well.

Cinderella gave everything of her time, energy, and attention to her step-mother and step-sisters, in addition to wearing rags, and sleeping by the fireplace! Was there more for her to give? I suppose she could have bled on the hearth, too.

Ultimately, one way to look at it is that for Cinderella’s selflessness she was rewarded by getting the cool shoes, the handsome prince, and the grand slam major cool ride. (I guess you could say Cinderella really started early transformer technology with the pumpkin to carriage capabilities!) But one unspoken message here could be: “Look what happens if you’re a doormat!”

Old McDonald was a workaholic and had lots of stock he could sing about […]

More

Magnetize and Attract Your Spouse

Hello!

Magnetize Your Spouse

Today we’re talking about how to keep the attraction mojo going on in your relationship.

Have you ever been in a heated argument with your spouse and you just can’t understand why the argument leads to the same place, same frustrating feelings, the same thoughts that you’d “be better off not exposing yourself to this level of aggrevation, upset, or discord”, and “maybe it would be better to get out of the relationship because this is just too painful to keep repeating”? You probably really love this person, or have in the past, but you didn’t expect to have these kinds of arguments, experience this level of misunderstanding, and feel this alone in this relationship.

So you both turn away from each other.

You’re not alone. This is a common reaction.

What can you do to avoid the repetition of this cycle, and magnetize your spouse instead of repelling and being […]

More

Cutting Your Nose Off To Spite Your Face

It’s All About Perspective

Hello:

Today I want to talk about how to open your heart in relationships with others whom you may not know, but could potentially have a great connection with that could bring you much joy and greater abundance in community relatedness.

As a psychotherapist, no doubt you know that I have “heard it all” in terms of what causes the unhappiness in peoples’ lives. Too often I hear stories from clients who have experienced negativity directed toward them from someone whom they haven’t known, have just met, and experience that first meeting as a surprise negative jolt. On a continuum, their experience is anything from the other person merely looking the other way when introduced, to outright hostility. It feels, no matter what the behavior of the newly acquainted person is at the first meeting, like being kicked in the stomach, or stabbed in the heart, or […]

More

Martin Luther King’s Message for Individual and Relationship Happiness

Martin Luther King’s Message for Individual and Relationship Happiness

Martin Luther King’s Message for Individual and Relationship Happiness

I wonder if Martin Luther King knew how much the themes of his message would be helpful for our inner world, or how much his message is significant to achieving a great long-term relationship.

Believe In Yourself

He wanted racial equality for everyone, no matter his or her skin color.

As a neuropositivity coach who teaches people how to grow a permanent positive mindset, and helps people achieve a long lasting satisfying relationship, I can see the wisdom of applying Martin Luther King’s principles to ourselves.

We cannot love another person until we learn how to make ourselves happy, and love ourselves–every part of us.

Lasting happiness in life and relationships requires that we have a willingness to look within ourselves to what we don’t like, whatever the appearance (jealousy, shame, grief, deceit, etc.) and not segregate it off, ignore it, […]

More

Increase Happiness in Your Relationship This Week

“Why can’t he see that I need his help with the children when he comes home from work without my having to ask him for help? And why can’t he be more affectionate and let me know that I’m important?”

Invariably in my coaching and psychotherapy practice when I meet with a couple I hear this complaint on a first visit from the wife (unless the husband is the primary caregiver) if the couple have children.

Also invariably, the husband will respond to this complaint with:
“Why can’t she see that I need time to decompress from my work day when I come through the door for a short period of time instead of starting in on me to help her? And why can’t she first give me a kiss and tell me how much I’m appreciated?

What is usually underneath these complaints are three things:
1) Both husband and wife are overtired.
2) Neither person […]

More